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Ready for love? .. You Sure? x-posted at my journal.
 willow_rose03 - (sic_gurrl)
09:59pm 24/11/2007
wr posting in The community of Willow, That be MEEE!!!
A little article over at Yahoo that describes 10 things that turn off men, and what one person said about it... Plus, of course, my opinion{s} ;)...

1. Misleading Maggie: Her profile says no kids, athletic and raking in the big bucks. The first date reveals two young kids, an extended waistline and unemployment checks.
“Nothing says trust issues for a guy more than lies from the get-go”
Nothing says trust issues for a guy more than lies from the get-go.
2. Insecure Ilene: She reads into every comment a guy makes. She wants to know right away if date #2 can be tomorrow. She asks you to call the minute you get home. This clingy nature screams of a potential needy girlfriend lacking independence.
3. Third-Degree Donna: The cross-examination begins before the menus arrive. The questions are coming fast and furious, and the guy begins to feel like the defendant on the stand in a criminal trial. If a guy feels stuck under the interrogation lights, he'll run for the hills.
4. Tardy Tina: She arrives late, she no-shows, she changes plans last-minute, she loses his number, she flat-out just doesn't respect a guy's time. Fashionably late is one thing; keeping a guy waiting 30 minutes or no-showing is unacceptable.
5. High-Maintenance Hilda: "Thanks for taking me to this nice restaurant, but couldn't you get a table by the window?"
“The feeling that nothing is ever good enough makes a guy quit trying to impress”
The feeling that nothing is ever good enough makes a guy quit trying to impress. A simple thank you for a nice dinner is a better way to go.
6. Chatterbox Charlene: The conversation doesn't have to be 50 percent talking and 50 percent listening, but if she does all the talking it feels more like a seminar than a date. Charlene's opposite cousin, Pulling Teeth Patricia, is equally unsettling, making the guy do all the work.
7. Still-Hurting Sally: First dates are notorious for spilling the beans on what went wrong with prior relationships. Sharing an amusing anecdote is good; making it clear you're not over your ex-boyfriend is a definite no-no.
8. Game Player Gina: "Maybe I'll kiss you goodnight, maybe I won't."
“Good guys like to know where they stand”
Good guys like to know where they stand. They leave the game-playing for the sports field. There's nothing wrong with flirting, but just know when it crosses over into deception and confusion.
9. Conceited Colleen: "Any guy would be lucky to have me." Guess what, the great guy across the table is also a real catch. Stop assuming every guy doesn't deserve you, and then you'll be on your way to actually landing a good one.
10. Matrimony Maureen: He dips his egg roll in duck sauce when all of a sudden she spills the beans on what they should name their kids. Intense relationships can be exciting for a good guy, but walking down the aisle before you walk each other home for the first time is a turn-off.

{The only one I personally see myself in is #8. Not that I don't have issues or seem to be looking for perfection or expect respect, but I also know how to keep my mouth shut and only let the "good stuff show" AT FIRST {this is why you take a while to know someone before you're even supposed to start DATING them}} and I know in reality nothing, and no one, is actually perfect, but I do seem to like playing the "teasing" game. Especially the last couple years I've gotten that way. I don't think it's so much as conceitedness as it may be the whole "I have too many walls up thing" but either way, I understand it could definitely be misleading and that's probably something I should work on someday. I certainly don't appreciate being misled}}

This is what the first, out of about 50 pages full, person said-
There is really no list that can turn-off a man. Dating for a man is sex. We are thinking how can I get this girl in bed on the first date. Just because we think like this does not mean we are not thinking with are big head. We will "date" a single mother...just as long as we use protection because she already made one mistake, she can make another and make you pay for it. Guys are just looking to get laid. Guys make the mistake in talking or answering her questions. Let her do all the talking, that way she thinks your a good listner and you won't say nothing stupid that might not get you laid that night. #3 Meet her at a bar or night spot. That way you don't spend money on dinner, only on drinks. The girl will know if she wants to sleep with you in the first 30 seconds anyways. Why spend money if she is not interested. #4 She is all about your money...Make her think you are going to spend money on her but don't. Also refer to #3. #5 is just like #2. #6 Do not even attempt with #6...any girl with baggage is damaged goods...she will always be a mess and you will feel the aftermath. #8 and # 9 are the same...play their game with back-handed compliments...#9 has alot of self-esteem, break it down slowly, like "Most girls look like Paris Hilton, skinny, or thin, I like you just the way you are" that will drop the self-esteem from a 10 to a 4 in no time. #10 Leave that sitiuation alone. She will most likely try to trap you by having a baby from you. Alway's use protection with her and take the left-over's with you...she might go trash-dumping for your condom to make her dream wedding come true. Always remember fella's it's war. We are in demand, not them...Woman think they have the magic vagina, they don't.

Now, there was a person under this one that mentioned how sometimes it's a matter of chemistry over anything else. You could do everything perfect, he could do everything perfect, but either you're meant to be or you're not. {And yes I am talking about chemistry, not fate}}
But OF COURSE everyone else, that I read anyway, gave the first poster a huge pile of crap for saying what they said. Some people went on and on about how being in it for sex is empty sex and that's not what counts and others called this person a loser that'll hump anything that doesn't move and others said what he said was completely untrue and that he's just an idiot and a moron. MOST of the posters that got mad at his comment are probably women. As for the person that made the empty sex comment, that might have been a man, and if it was it was more than likely an OLDER man. 'cause let's face it, what that first person said, it's true. No not all guys are completely the same. No one is completely the same. But guys DO WANT SEX. Guy's don't date around thinking they're going to find their soul mate. Guy's date around to see how much sex they can get. A lot of girls do that too. But girls want the affection and the emotional attention a lot more than guys do especially at first and especially while they're young. All those people that want to call that guy a moron and say he doesn't know what he's talking about need one hell of a huge wake up call. The person was only speaking the truth. They were saying it the way it really is. Again, I am not saying ALL guys {or girls}} are like that. But most of them are. I mean come on. If you're not looking to settle down and possibly raise a family, why would you truly care about anything other than getting some the MOST. You're not. You're not going to care about anything else THE MOST. See what I'm saying? That doesn't mean they don't care about what our favorite color is or what makes us cry or how wonderful of a person we might be, but again, reality is, that's usually not what guys are taking into consideration on a FIRST DATE. Seriously. Those people responding to the insensitive first poster were the idiots. They're talking from fantasies. They're talking from the way they hope it is and the way it probably should be. And they just don't want to face the way it REALLY is. Like someone else said, "younger" guys usually don't understand how to treat women ANYWAY. That comes with wisdom and experience.
This is why it's hard to find someone. People keep looking for something that simply just isn't there at FIRST. If they'd just take a moment to focus and realize what the first person said is usually true, they'll be able to get past that point. They'll learn to EXPECT it and then wait for "the good stuff" to happen way beyond just the first date. Right? I mean does that make at least any sense at all? Because either way something isn't working. Which is why the world needs articles like these.
Honestly, the only part I was offended by from the first person's post, was the last line. That's the one part he isn't facing reality about. Obviously he believes he has some sort of magic wand or something. But in a lot of cases, women don't need the guy's dick to satisfy her urge for intimacy. It's the physical closeness and "connection" that women desire. It's the feeling of being wanted and enjoyed. It's US that the guys need. Not the other way around. I mean, come on, dude, think about it.
But again, I agree with him concerning everything else he said. He's right. That's not to judge ALL men, but reality is, he's right.
mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
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